i made a friend pure and true. wanted to know her thru and thru.my ears consumed the words she spoke, whilst my mouth illuminated the words i thought.
ive felt a feeling like this before, so good enjoyable that i could adore.b-b-but ….WAIT …. that candle had later lost its light ,that light that once brought me from my endless night. could it be a rewind to where i once was? could it be that my countless prayer are being answered, which my knees endured every night before?
if so, this cross road has only one way. the way that shines like the middle of the day. every split i see i now know what could be. and the other road is now whats is for me. like this poem it should never see the end , only the start where i said i made a friend …
By Ceehle Wayne Suntele
July 22, 2009 at 7:59am
it.s been 19 years 3 days and how every so many hours since i’ve taken my first breath
Then, i had alot of opportunities, my life was still in the begining stages of being written and cast in stone. i was free to be me without the judgement by thee.
Then the days dawn upon me when it was not only my mother that would know me, but people i would regard as friends. Yes it was the days of school. 15 long years went by. one minute,1 hour,1 day.1 week,1 month,1 year at a time *tick tock tick tock*
During this time family hurt me. friends hurt me. even enemies hurt me more than i would have expected. still i grew with the scares. I then proclaimed myself IMMORTAL only to be thrown back to earth by the reality that i was not that i wished to be.
Now i’m here taking in this old foul air, stripped from my dreams, now replaced by those up in the tree and not the sky. I am here while the earth weeps with tears i wish i still had but yet in all the mash of what is true and false. i still believe i am that which is not mortal.
By Ceehle Wayne Suntele
June 19, 2009 at 2:32pm
Here i was … like i always been
alone again, no pillar, no foundation.so i seeked for that which i was told to do. i knocked for that which was the best way through. then at last it sunk in me, ask for that is what is true.
i asked for my heart to be filled. i asked for a structure which could not be killed. a foundation so profound it could not be true. a voice, great yet small spoke and said an angel is what you desire. without hesitation i agreed knowing it wasn’t a lie
then you came but no light so bright, no wings, no halo. so i denied the fact you are what i wanted. now that your gone and ive found myself, i see it all with a new eye and soul but ish this sucks cause your gone. but maybe now that i know who i am, where i am, and why i am, i shall find an angel like you again.
By Ceehle Wayne Suntele
14 July 2010 16:21
The thing. That thing almost everything confuses me. But not as greatly as your thing. That grasp you never lessen that faith that never grows, the way everything is wrong in your eyes. I miss you I miss hating but truly loving you. Now I force love I force my heart to see thru the fog, force my skin to grow harder to every emotional slash. Striking left right left right, no rest, ….
There was a time … but that’s the problem itwas then. Now is now. Time is ever changing. a factor. a being. You can never run from it, no mountain can stand against it. No river can evade it. We live by it’s rule in it’s domain.
But it’s all ok I find comfort now and then maybe not in you.
but in places.
around me. On me. Inside me. I see the sky as the world. Engulfed by darkness yet there are distinct lights everywhere. Hope in every ones heart. Never changing never moving yet clouded. Waiting for the wind to come alone and make it all clear again. I’m done waiting now I find the area to let my little light shine
By Ceehle Wayne Suntele
22 April 2011 09:39
hmmm how many times can one make a mistake before learnin that it will either haunt them or forfill them forever
It.s something that can not be determined cause it.s something we will do but don’t have to. Even thou people have first said a clever man learns from their mistakes then the next generation said but a wiser man learns from others mistakes
But yeah there will be a time we look back and remain in the mistake or let it push us. It.s something we have to do ourselves let it be what we want it to be.
By Ceehle Suntele
27 June 2009 20:00
I’ve seen it happen way too many times: The nice guy loses the girl for being exactly who he is.
What’s even worse is if he’s really the nice guy, he’s going to lose her and say nothing about it. He’ll accept it as something she truly wants and give her his best wishes, as she walks away being everything he could ever want.
On behalf of all the nice guys out there, this is to the girl who walked out on the best thing that ever happened to her:
Dear Girl Who Walked Away,
It’s not like you weren’t aware of what you were getting yourself into. He told you he was nice. He trusted easily and gave you all he could when he could.
The nice guy believes in doing things right. He was there when you needed him to be, and he went out of his way to make sure you knew just how much you could mean to someone.
We live in a generation where we all have to wear masks and play parts to make it through the battlefield of dating in the 21st century. There is no such thing as giving it your all.
We like quotes on Facebook and post things on Instagram stating we want the masochist one day and the romantic the next. We play these games where being available can only happen sometimes, and playing hard-to-get must be our number one priority. Why?
I thought the ultimate goal was to eventually settle down. I mean, what is the point of dating if you have no desire for it to go anywhere? If a one-night stand is what you’re looking for, leave the good guys alone and toy within the levels you lay down.
Save yourself time and energy because the good guy isn’t going to make it easy to just walk away. The good guy cares, so he’ll get his explanation from you even though he knows it’ll be a load of bull.
Every girl says she likes the assh*le because he’s the challenge — the one she must break, train and force to be more than just a douchebag. Have you ever thought, however, maybe you were the girl in need of learning what it means to actually feel again?
You went through something, like we all do, and because of it you changed. It’s normal and heartbreak happens, but the next assh*le didn’t fix what the first one did; he kept it the same or made it worse. His priority was not you and couldn’t be you. So now you’re bitter and closed off from anything remotely more satisfying than a one-night stand.
I won’t deny that the assh*le is fun or that a good time isn’t promised with him, but when it’s all said and done, is it ever more than just a good time? Probably not.
In fact, the assh*le has a charm about him; it’s the charm you justify your pursuit with. You say, “There’s just something about him.” However, it’s probably the same quality that ended up hurting you in the past.
So you tried to push the nice guy away. When he wouldn’t go away, you pushed harder. Still, he didn’t give up and every time you pushed harder, he pulled you in even more.
He ignored your fears and forced you to grow; he fought for your passions when you were too busy writing them off. He forgot your wants and focused on everything you needed. Then you walked away because he was too nice.
He gave you too much of everything you wanted, and life got too easy. You wanted conflict and hardship as if everything else in life did not promise you an endless journey of just that. This is where you failed.
The nice guy has been hurt, too, he just chose to stay nice. He learned that different people were going to provide him different things in life. The nice guy also chose not to let any of it change who he was.
So, he let you walk away and he called it a day. Everyone always says there are plenty of fish in the sea, and he let you go knowing this, even though it hurt.
What you don’t know is that someone else is out there, and she won’t be as foolish you. When you realize all you really want is the nice guy who cares about you too much, it’s going to be too late. Some other girl will be able to see how great he is, and she won’t waste a minute.
So you lost your Ted Mosby and, I promise, to him you were Robin. The nice guys are there to give you a break, a light to something more than the games we identify our generation with.
He may have loved you too soon and it was too crazy and too much, but guys like Mosby don’t happen every day; they happen never. He got you the blue French horn, and he made you feel love when love was no longer a part of your vocabulary. You were now saying “I love you” again and remembering what it felt like.
He was the guy you were supposed to end up with, who makes everything change. I just wish you’d see it before another girl does because at the end of the day, everyone, including the nice guy you don’t deserve, is rooting only for you.
Sincerely, The Girl Who Was Too Late